Blue Lights

When the sun sets, I can’t help but feel suffocated. All the light that once was fades into nothing but darkness.

During the winter, when there isn’t much warmth or light to go adventure, when stuck in the same place day after day, I become claustrophobic. There’s a whole world out there yet I’m trapped, inside. Doing the same thing every single day. Makes you restless. The kind that awakens your numb catatonic vision to the realization that you are doing nothing with your precious gift of life. 

~

I was a kid, perhaps around 8 years old when I decided to put my favorite show on, Adventure Time. The princess, the one who takes care of all of her citizens, got stuck on another planet with some of them. With no way out, day after day, she started to lose hope. She was a prisoner there as I was a prisoner in this room. One day, a blue light appeared above her and all the citizens started to cheer. The princess bubbled with excitement, she couldn’t contain herself as she spoke gibberish in a different language out of pure joy, then finally the words “we are saved”! She started running towards the light as if she had just been awoken from her catatonic slumber due to the possibility of freedom.

Her excitement overflowed onto me and I started to look around. I remembered the small window in the corner of my room as I snapped my gazed over to it and miraculously there was the blue light. I could not believe it. I couldn’t believe my eyes that the same blue light was here. Was I saved? Since I was a child, I stood on my tippy toes to see the light through the window. When my feet drew tired, I jumped a few times to make sure what I was seeing was actually there. I realized the blue light was a reflection of the a blue led light in my room. But I still took it as a sign, because behind that reflected blue light, were the stars. A constant reminder that there is always more. And I just had to see them.

I turned to the door to check if it was clear before removing the window. The window was closed and locked. I started to take apart my window quietly so my mother wouldn’t hear. I started opening up the screen by turning the knob quickly, carefully, and quietly. I released the screen from the frame opening up the window. I turn back toward the door to check one last time. And she was there. Standing there, ready to pounce and scold me. Instead of retrieving and apologizing to her, I quickly turned the other way and leaped out the window without a second thought.

I’ll never pick safety and being small over adventure and new experiences.

From that night forward, I would lay on my roof and look up at the stars for guidance. When you feel small, when you feel you have outgrown everything around you, when you are longing for more, allow the stars to remind you that there is always more. There are endless experiences, stories to be told, places to see, people to meet, knowledge to learn, there will always more. Let the stars be the light in the darkness, allow them to shine a way through the darker parts of life.

Follow their starlight into the morning sunlight *ੈ✩

Image by Danielle Noel