Lioness

I was traveling through an old medina with some friends I had just met. We were chattering along when I saw a small wooden table with interesting triangle-shaped cards laying out. The detail caught my attention and I stopped walking to admire the cards, letting my friends continue on without me. They were tarot cards, each hand-drawn and colored. I looked through the cards quickly and quietly as I assumed the person briefly left them outside just for a moment. They were written in a different language and I couldn't understand any of the words. Yet, I couldn’t help but realize the handwriting looked so similar to mine. Did I write these? Could I have in another time or life?

As the thought flashed across my mind, the woman came out. Crap. I apologized for looking through and messing with her cards. The woman mentioned the word Leo before transforming me into her position so I could see through her eyes. It was if I was living through her body and reincarnated into an older version of herself. Back when fantasy was the only form of history, and she wanted to show me a story. 

Myself and the people around me were half human and half lion, Sphinx, if you will. My father was the leader of our village, the pride male. He was a good leader and father, a kind and respectable man. Unfortunately, our town was infected with a plague. My father, among many others, got sick. The disease turned him ravenous, he destroyed and killed everything into his path. He had transformed fully into a lion, submitted to the raging wild beast within. The infection grew like wild fire across our town, everyone screamed out in panic. I was so scared. I was so scared for my life, my people, and for my father.

I quietly followed behind my father to see where he would go and what he would do throughout the chaos. He was big and fast and out of control. He stopped in his tracks when he heard me trailing behind him. I knew he would not think twice before coming after me. I pivoted and ran as fast as I could far away from him. He was infected and a completely different entity now, like a dog with rabies.

He chased me as I ran for my life. I found a small crack behind a large rock in a cave den. I was a lioness goddess, thin and fit, so I was able to squeeze behind and hid myself. He stalked for me cautiously, like a predator lurking for its next prey. I held my mouth to shield the noise of my breath and sobs. I was petrified that he would hear me as tears streamed down my face. After a long pause, he finally left and ran away to find his next victim.

I released my hand from my face and cried. I whispered to myself, made a promise to myself and to the world."I’m sorry father. I’m sorry this happened to you and I’ll do everything I can to get you back." From that moment forward, I was alone. An orphan. Both of my parents were gone and my village now destroyed. I was about 13 years old, in ‘god’ years.

Image by Danielle Noel